Give in

The trip was stressful and fun and exhausting and exciting. I had expectations. Camping was different to those expectations. I think I need to go away more often. And just allow the trip to unfold, to give in. Hmmm, it's a lot to ask. Relax. Let go. Give in. Bye.

Careful what you wish for...

I am getting what I've been wishing for... in a sudden strange dramatic way. I wanted to move out. And now I'm forced to move out. Sooner than I'd expected. The Universe really wants me out.

It's scary and painful and perhaps I'll look back at this time (well off in the future) and laugh...

Hmmmph, I also wanted adventure, did I not? Well, I am receiving it in abundance!

Feeling adventurous?

I'm constantly learning about myself. Lately I'm delving into my feelings and emotions. I have a feeling it will serve me in my search for change and adventure (and will be useful in general). It's interesting and uncomfortable yet I will persist.

I'm not in my new abode yet. It's still happening but dates have changed a little. I've gone through some belongings and thrown some of them out... and realising if I'd done that months earlier I would have had so much more room! I'm reminding myself of how little space I'll have at the new house and to be ruthless in deciding what to get rid of. Also, it will save me time and effort if I cull now.

I'm planning a little weekend away. I was going to go at the end of October but think I'll move it up to my first weekend off in November. I'll be integrated in the new house by then and ready for an adventure.

Finding time

I waste a lot of time. It's habitual. I'm a chronic time waster. And this has to change. Now. My newest adventure is to make the most of each day. To cut out things that don't serve me. I read something once... that a behaviour doesn't need hours of analysis to change. A new action can create a new habit in an instant.

I stayed by myself in a low-technology house last night, had a pleasant evening, 10 hrs of sleep and awoke this morning refreshed and positive. I need more of that.

Friday fun

Wow, I really left you hanging with that last entry...

The flat I looked at was not suitable. I'm moving out in two weeks into the place I originally came across. So it's all on and all happening.

I've been rather a bit tired. Exhausted. I've got a big three days of work coming up and psyching up for that. That I feel the need to mentally and physically prepare for this kind of work makes me think that I'd be better to choose work that actually suits me... And I am focusing on that. I think the move is a higher priority at the moment. I'm starting to clean up and pack. Chaos.

So what adventures have I had or created in this past week? I've read a book that describes the principles of change and making things happen. I've been meditating. I've been accepting and manifesting work. And I've started planning a trip down south early next year and have decided to take 2-3 weeks off and have a real holiday. Now I'll start putting that in place, perhaps looking for some workshops. I'll visit some places I've never been to and combine some activities with friends. I'm starting to really look forward to the trip, to the adventure. And now with this goal it gives me something to work towards.

I'm happy. I have a lot to do today. Yay for busy Friday!

Moving On

It all happened last week... it seems I've found a new home... I'm a little bit apprehensive... it doesn't seem absolutely perfect... yet it will be okay... and will be easy to leave if required... and it may even be an excellent arrangement. I will know more in the the next day or two, whether it will really go ahead. I'm thinking to just jump in and take it... even though it doesn't seem like the perfect arrangement. It doesn't seem worse than where I am now, rather better actually. So, I will take the plunge and move on.

And moving right along...

I've realised lately that my dreams and goals are wishy-washy. I don't have a burning desire to do only one thing, rather to do several things reasonably well. I've never known of one thing that drives me. It's more that I make choices or, er, let them be made for me. And I just get by. My question is, how do you know or learn what you want? Experimenting and exploring seem to be the only way I can get close to knowing. I came across a piece of writing last night stating that when you feel inspired to do something you need to act there and then when your emotions are still high... to avoid the Law of Diminishing Intent, that this is a form of discipline. I can be disciplined! I can achieve and learn and record it all. And, if I or any reader learn something, then it will all have been worthwhile.

The dam breaks

Sometimes, when I take some sort of action, it feels like a dam breaks and everything rushes out of control. I'm looking at sharehouses. Suddenly they're everywhere and all need looking at at once and following-up at once, and occur at times when I'm busy to start with. Today has been frantic with running around all over the place all day. There have also been a few surprises, some unexpected options. No house seems “perfect” yet. I don't know whether that's because nothing's perfect or because they're not right for me. I feel exhausted, though I've managed to fit-in a lot today. Is there an easier, less stressful way of making things happen???

Thinking

"It's like you're just waiting for money [and work and all those other things you want] to come to you!!!"

Me: Thinking, Oh? Is that not how it works???

I know stacks of people who are not getting what they want. Jobless, relationship-less, friendless, childless, health-less, penniless etc. etc. I'm coming to the realisation that there must be something these people are not doing that People Who Succeed are doing. Of course I fall into the not doing category. It's funny because I think I'm doing, but I'm starting to think that really I'm just thinking. Or I'm doing different things to ones that would achieve success. So I am getting clear in my aim to try different tactics or to take advice from people who do succeed. Perhaps I'll read an Anthony Robbins book or talk to some people. Or go out and experiment with different things, even if they feel strange to me, even if I don't like it initially. To dare to try something new. Oh, and I'm still allowed to think... and follow-up with action.

I made some purchases today. I have bills to pay. And I also have money coming in to me. It flows in and out. Now to do those things that have more cash flowing in than out!

Suggest an adventure

Is there some activity or place you think I absolutely must adventure to in the next year?

Can I come and see/help you work for a day? (I'm accessible to Sydney and its surrounds, further if I'm paid!)

Do you want to give me things?

Do you have your own adventure story you want me to post?

Do you have any other suggestions?

Write a suggestion in the comments or send me an email (the link is provided in my profile).

Note: Remember the 'rules' are
1. I'm limited by time, money and location
2. Nothing illegal
3. I will decide if I will take on your adventure

Wishlist of Adventures

There will be limits to the number and types of adventures I will be having. One concern is my lack of income. One of my adventure-goals is to pay off all debts. I will definitely be working in this time. And most likely remaining in my current location for at least the next 6 months. My adventures will need to be close to home or for shortish periods of time. However, my work can be flexible (once it is more firmly established or with the right connections). Going away for a month, even two or three is not impossible if I can work along the way or have the means to do so. I don't have kids or a mortgage so with a few relatively small increases in income I have a lot of liberties.

I will not be taking part in anything illegal. This rule may be bent if it involves activism or something unjust or a really really good reason. I won't be experimenting with drugs or prostitution or crime.

I will consider other people's suggestions of adventures to try. I'll choose ones that sound interesting or achievable and that I have the time and money to do.

This list is not comprehensive. I'll update it throughout the year.

Adventures to be had

Regularly do little things that are scary me (so that I can move on)
Be debt-free
Move to a new house (my dream is to actually own my own home)
Grow and expand my business (I've kept it going, it's a start)
Eat vegetables that I have grown (do herbs count?)
Do some work for charity
Run in the next City to Surf
Learn a song on guitar
Learn 10 songs on guitar
Spend at least a week holidaying someplace warm where I can laze on the beach, fish, walk, read and relax
Go skiing (I haven't been in 14 years)
Do a two-day bushwalk that involves camping overnight
A trip to the Hunter Valley (a girls trip?)
Spend a week WWOOFing (on the way)
Workshops and further education
A 3 month trial of vegetarianism (I have been vegetarian in the past)
A trial of daily meditation (update - I'm doing about 2-3 days a week now which is an improvement!)

Things I want to have

One or two sets of decent business clothing
Some new clothes - jeans, pants, shirts, bras etc.
Furniture to go with my house
Household objects and appliances such as cutlery, saucepans DVD/VCR player
A laptop (I'm using an ancient Pentium II)

The mission

I started to wonder how it would be to find meaning, a purpose, a home, income, to have adventures. I was a person who liked to try things before deciding. Perhaps I could actually make it a goal to try different things. Perhaps I could find some answers or at least things I could live with. Perhaps I could give myself a timeframe. A year sounded like a good amount of time; it's not too long but a lot can be achieved. A year is measurable. I could have bucketloads of adventures in that time. Yes, an experiment. A yearlong adventure. None of my adventures need be permanent, I could simply give things a go. A year is safe. A year is made for miracles. At the end of the yearlong adventures I would put my learnings together into a book or report. I would also keep a regular blog of my adventures over the next year.

I wrote my idea down on scraps of paper (yes, I carried them with me on my walk in case I had any realisations).

That very same day (yesterday, in fact) I started the blog.

Back then

I'm stuck, you see? Confused, broke (actually in debt), aimless. And really and truly stuck. I need to move house, make some income, work on certain commitments... but I am lost as to how. And the what, where, when and which of it just gives me a headache. It seems that everyone around me has an opinion on what I should do. I've been told I simply need to be clear about what I want. What I want. That word... want. I want it to be easy and for a solution to appear. I'm open to different things. I thought I had decided on where and what I wanted to live in. Then some new information came to light which not only confused me further but cost me $70. I still am playing with different careers and trying them on for size. It's in my horoscope; apparently I'm meant to be indecisive. However, this is just ridiculous! My mind changes from day to day, month to month. And to top it all off, I'm almost 30. Obviously, Saturn is playing tricks on me!

The last few days were dark days. I went spiralling into a miserable hopeless state. I felt alone. I felt I had taken a huge step backwards. I felt powerless. I went for a walk in the night and cried and cried and cried. What was the point of my life and in fact, of everything?

This morning, however, I saw the signs of Spring. I meditated and visualised, I drew Angel cards in answer to certain questions. My positive hopeful feelings were returning. I went for a walk and listened to rushing water and to birds calling and feeding. I thought of what was going on, or rather not going on, in my life. I thought of the future.

I had an idea.