Resistance

Change is not something that I enjoy or indulge. I'll use any excuse to stay exactly where I am whilst simultaneously wishing things were better. I find it difficult to pick a course of action. When nothing feels right, do you just do something? Just so that you're moving? Or is it better to wait? And what am I waiting for exactly? What if my desired outcome doesn't exist? These are tough questions, the kind of questions that keep me awake at night. And that keep me stuck. Now that I'm having adventures I'll be on the look out for ways to prompt me into action. Deadlines tend to help. When I absolutely have to act, I will. But it's a very stressful way to go about things. There must be a better way.

I am trying, however. Last night a friend dropped around and I spontaneously invited him for dinner. Then, when close to serving my yummy dinner, I had an invite to go out and see the lunar eclipse from a lookout. That was a bit too much spontaneity for me and I grumbled and grizzled about how the partial eclipse had already started and I'd already made plans and that dinner was almost ready and that I didn't want to miss the actual full eclipse moment (it was only half an hour away). It took my boyfriend 10 mins to talk me into going. And after I'd stopped resisting and being difficult, it was a fun adventure, more memorable than watching the moon from my backyard.

It just hit me that I have a whole year of adventures in store for me. Let's hope they come a little more easily as the days pass!